Loneliness

loneliness

long days, longer nights with one's self

already after many weeks, months

the initial shock has long worn off

the courage and fortitude too

the dog and cat have nothing left to say

it's just... lonely

once, there were calls to make;

they have already been rung

at one point, there was much to write, to consider,

to endeavor and experience

now it's all ho-hum

for all my longing for conversation,

companionship,

intimacy,

physical heat,

the hunger intensifies

and i worry myself about it:

if it comes, when it comes,

will my ravenous desire be too great?

will it frighten the very ones who come

to rescue me from these all-too-quiet,

way-too-many

nights alone?

can i temper it?

i fear i'm not that cool.

still haven't mastered those rules

for, in the past, it was always my game:

hunger, and they will feed you

but i'm older now

pulling it together well enough, but

tired, and wanting what i want when i want it

no time to fuss and figure

just want to call and have it delivered

what's wrong with the men of this world?

when they are tied, they strain to break free

when they are allowed free rein,

there's no interest

why must they continually be such disappointments?

fit, beautiful, deep, sensual, intelligent, talented, independent i am

if i want you, you should just shut up and fuck me