These three years have simply been the most amazing and transformative years of my life. Brought on by great loss and suffering, yes... but the resurrection has been positively profound, and seems to keep getting better and better! In these three years since Dad made the great transition, I remained, and have accomplished so very much... things I had dreamed of doing my entire life! Let's list:
- I have manifested a broad and extensive community of friends, near and far, who have gifted my life with unconditional love, and have supported my highest good
- I have found the courage to let go of people who have long hindered my growth... even family, and close loved ones... so that I may be fully authentic in my soul and self-expression
- I have manifested work which supports my talents, dreams, passions and desires, and live in a state of divine abundance, and greater prosperity than ever before
- I have become a powerful creative channel, and have met goals and manifested dreams in relation to my creative work... and have been surrounded by a vast community of other creatives who support my visions and honor my gifts
- I have reintegrated with the path of my spirit, and live a life of daily discipline, and continue to reach farther and farther, winding deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of Mysteries, with the courage to confront the shadow and the dark, that I may be liberated and lighter
- I have experienced true, pure love, whereby I spoke and acted with great integrity and clarity, and was able to experience the great power of my love, unfettered by desperation, expectation, need, jealousy, etc
- I survived critical and immeasurable physical pain and trauma when my spine broke, and I healed, and took from the experience many gifts ~ including the realization of the blessed family of friends who supported me through the ordeal, and the reunion and gift of my mother's love
- I finally found my home here in the North. No longer feeling the desire to flee or escape, I am grateful and content in my dwelling, with my pets and possessions, and the wonderful life I lead here
- I am more independent, self-sufficient, self-determined, liberated, strong, courageous, passionate, spiritual, loving, compassionate and peaceful than I've ever been in my life
I mean, wow! That's quite the list!
Reflecting on these years since Dad's passing in this way, I don't feel sad. I mean, I can get teary-eyed thinking of him any day, for I do love and miss him so. But, on this Day of Love, three years later, the utter emptiness I had felt then ~ an emptiness unlike any I had ever known before, or since ~ that emptiness has been filled, and overflows.
It is the anniversary of the greatest loss of my life... and also, a bit of a bitter reminder that I've had no romantic love in my life in all this time (at least, not any that was reciprocated to me).
Yet, there is great comfort in all kinds of love on this day. Rather than mourn my father's death, I can celebrate my love for him, and his love for me.
Rather than feel lonely not to have a beloved to celebrate with, I can lavish the love onto myself that I would onto my most cherished ~ or even better: to imagine there is, indeed, a beloved out there for me, and that I can spoil myself as he most yearns to do.
I celebrate the deep love and connections I share with so many friends in so many places.
I take comfort in the Universal Love of Great Spirit, and feel the Mother's arms enfold me, and the Father's grace upon my soul.
I am blessed. I am grateful. I am joyful, and at peace.
May this Valentine's Day be a prayer for love all over the planet.
I offer my heart to you all.
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