I looked him square in the eye and replied, "RIGHT. Which is exactly why I need a powerful man who is not afraid, and who is confident in himself. I cannot give away my love to lesser men anymore."
He said he felt like if I were a "normal" woman (I interrupted to clarify what he meant by a "normal" woman... apparently, one who is not as "powerful" as he deems me to be), that if I were this "normal" woman, he would likely not only be fully on board, but steering the ship, and pulling me up along his side.
"That makes no sense," I said.
"I KNOW!" he replied.
I thought about it more this morning.
I realized that if he (or any man) were with a "normal" woman, they would end up tiring of her sooner or later. A "normal" woman wouldn't challenge him, or help his spirit to grow. She would be more dependent on him - the kind of woman that thinks she needs a man to complete her, to make her happy, or make her life easier, or fulfill some fairytale story she's had programmed into her mind about how her life is SUPPOSED to be.
This neediness and codependence (which men heartily complain about amongst themselves) actually fulfills some vain, egoic desire which has also been programmed into the male minds, about how their lives are supposed to be - the hero, the rescuer, the strong man who swoops in and takes care of the frail woman who needs him so.
I have been this woman at other times in my life, and I have had men who played that role very well. It always ended the same: after the story plays out, and the "normalcy" really sets in, the man begins to feel drained. He becomes resentful of the woman, and bored with her. Just as she is starting to settle in to her "happily ever after, " he is looking for his method of escape - to be freed from the cage of the needy woman, whose frailty has become an annoyance, and whose attractiveness dwindles with every tapping into his every resource.
Like any dream worth having, partnering with a "powerful" woman requires much more from the man. He will be initially attracted to her for all her obvious gifts, talents, strength and beauty. He will admire her independence, her emotional maturity, and her ability to reason. He will consider that, maybe, he has finally found a woman who can match HIM, and will be turned on by the thought.... but soon, inevitably, the challenge presents itself:
"To be with me, you must be straight with yourself. I am honest and direct. I communicate my feelings and needs. I have no need to lie, because I act with integrity, and my choices and behaviors reflect that. I don't play games, and I have no time for emotional manipulation.
"To be with me, you must work hard - not because I need it, or depend on it, nor demand it - but because I work hard. In order for you to feel confident, and to have the self-respect you need to balance a woman of great power, you will intrinsically be pushed by YOURSELF to succeed.
"To be with me, you will have to face your depths of emotion, and allow yourself to be vulnerable... for there will be times (as there are in all our lives) when you will struggle, and you will need to lean on my strength to help get you through. You will have to swallow your pride, and trust that there is no shame in it, none at all! But rather, a greater emotional maturity will be gained, making you more of a whole man.
"To be with me, you will need to be introspective, self-aware, disciplined, and striving to grow as a man, a human, a spirit. There will be an ebb and flow in both our lives as we grow, but the rate of incline will be steady, and we will weather the seasons of our lives in balance, together."
Unlike the paradigm of partnering with a "normal" woman, where the requirement is based on supplying for her needs, to be with a "powerful" woman requires the deeper work of personal transformation. It demands confronting the innermost sanctums of your soul, and understanding your spirit's mission in this life. This is the work we are all meant to do, yet so few of us have the courage to see it through.
With a "powerful" woman at your side, you are supported in this mission.... and the rewards for living your soul's purpose are infinite, mostly because at the center of your being, you will be satisfied. Unlike with the "normal" woman, who allows you to exist in a shallow superficiality, which might be comfortable and even look good to you and those around you, but will inevitably and always leave you with the feeling that it is not enough, that there is something more out there, and that somehow this relationship is preventing you from getting it. You will look externally - at other women, at acquiring possessions, by turning to vices - to try to sate that hunger...
But that hunger is your own spirit that needs to be fed... and that sustenance lies solely in the abundant love of the "powerful" woman.
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