Being Right

"You don't need to be right. You need to be smart."

Words from my ex-husband's mouth that used to drive me crazy.

Why should I stifle myself?

Why should I mask a truth that merits being known?

How can I stand by and watch someone I care about fuck his own life?

He was right, my husband, in telling me not to be right, to be smart.

The messenger often gets shot, or hung, tortured or just plain fired from the job.

It's happened to me this way many a time.

If I need to be smart, then I should start by learning from my past.

I am at the precipice of the second stage of my life.

I am a woman, fully grown, competent and on my own.

Being truthful with myself should be enough. Must be enough.

Others will either discover for themselves what they need to know,

or will suffer the hard lessons and the failures destined for them on their journey.

Everyone learns in their own time.

Some are simply not ready for sage words when they hear them.

It is not my job to save you.

That's not what I was hired for.

I have learned some things, but am still learning others:

like how to care less, or shut up,

or love wholly inside, but taper love's external expression.

I would argue this point with my husband.

I took offense at the very notion

that it might be in my own best interest to

love less?

I didn't even understand what that meant.

It means this:

To really love someone unconditionally and purely,

you may have to

bite your tongue

smile and nod

let them fall

reserve opinion even when it's pleaded for

be selfish...

...and when all that is hard to do,

keep contact to a bare minimum,

lest you risk the love, the friendship, the job

just to be right.